4How to Spot a Four

• They talk about how they experience things, often in the first person and vividly.
• They have a distinctive personal style in clothing, home, or interests.
• Their moods shift and tend to show.
• They're put off by superficiality, being misunderstood, and advice like “don't take it so seriously.”
• Criticism easily wounds them; they remember it for a long time and may withdraw.
• In their free time they create, listen to music, read, or seek out deep conversations.

A Four is most often confused with a Five (both withdraw into themselves and are idiosyncratic), a Six (both doubt themselves and can rebel), and a Two or Three, which are also heart strategies. Creativity and melancholy prove nothing on their own; you'll find artists and sad people among all strategies. What matters for a Four is the longing to be unique and the feeling that others have something they lack. Only the person themselves knows that, not an observer.

• Take their feelings seriously, even if you don't fully understand them.
• Don't rush to cheer them up or play down the problem.
• Appreciate specifically what's distinctive about them or their work.
• Give criticism gently and don't compare a Four to others.