Strategy 9
Calm Mediator
- Desire
- Inner peace and harmony
- Fear
- Conflict, separation, and loss of connection
Why People Confuse Them
Both strategies are people-focused, put others' needs first, believe in service and want harmony around them. It's mainly Nines who mistake themselves for Twos, because they see the Two as the loving one, and they're loving too, after all.
What the Difference Is
The Nine likes peace. They don't focus on themselves; they adapt and support others without expecting much recognition. They can wait for a response and need less of it. At the same time, they don't want others to disturb them too much. The Two has a very clear sense of who they are and is aware of their feelings and of how much they give. They want to matter in other people's lives and like it when people come to them for advice.
In conflict, the Nine goes quiet and barely reacts. The Two doesn't hesitate to say how selfish the other person is and how much they owe them. The Nine offers calm and comfort; the Two offers concrete, precisely tailored help and sticks with it for a long time.
Subtypes: The social Nine, who does a lot for others but doesn't need as much recognition and is more emotionally balanced, is most often confused with the Two.
Three Questions That Settle It
Answer honestly, based on how things usually are, not how you'd like them to be.
- When you do something for someone and they don't appreciate it at all, how do you feel?
2More likely a Two if it hurts and you let it show somehow.
9More likely a Nine if it doesn't bother you much and you don't make an issue of it.
- How do you help the people around you?
2More likely a Two if you see exactly what they need and get on with it.
9More likely a Nine if you're mostly just there with them, listening and giving them calm.
- What do you do when a dispute arises?
2More likely a Two if you say what bothers you and remind the other person what you've done for them.
9More likely a Nine if you withdraw, go quiet and wait for it to pass.
Not sure? The test will tell you in 10 minutes. What's my strategy? →
How to Spot a Two →How to Spot a Nine →How They Work Together in a Relationship →