Strategy 9
Calm Mediator
- Desire
- Inner peace and harmony
- Fear
- Conflict, separation, and loss of connection
Why People Confuse Them
Both strategies tend to be reserved, dreamy, and sensitive to others, and both can feel overlooked or misunderstood. Nines occasionally think they're Fours because of their artistic talent. But creativity doesn't belong only to Fours.
What the Difference Is
The Four withdraws to make time for their feelings. If anything, they're too close to them; they experience them fully and keep returning to their wounds. They usually know what they feel and what they want, and they'll say so when honesty is at stake, even at the cost of conflict.
The Nine withdraws so that nothing disturbs them. They disconnect from unpleasant feelings and situations, tend to be emotionally even, and tune in to others. They often don't know what they themselves want, find it hard to say no, and avoid conflict. They prefer to see the world in a better light.
The difference can be heard in creative work too: the Four tends to be personal and isn't afraid of tragedy, while the Nine tells stories with happy endings and finds comfort in ordinary things.
Subtypes: The Nine most reminiscent of the Four is the one-to-one Nine, who experiences melancholy and is highly attuned to closeness and distance in a relationship; but they tend to take on the other person's feelings rather than their own.
Three Questions That Settle It
Answer honestly, based on how things usually are, not how you'd like them to be.
- When someone hurts you, what happens next?
4More likely a Four if you keep coming back to it in your head and try to process it.
9More likely a Nine if you tuck it away and act as if nothing happened.
- Do you know what you want?
4More likely a Four if you usually do and can ask for it.
9More likely a Nine if you know more what you don't want and adapt to others more easily.
- How do you approach conflict?
4More likely a Four if you go into it, because it's about honesty and your feelings.
9More likely a Nine if you do a lot to prevent it.
Not sure? The test will tell you in 10 minutes. What's my strategy? →
How to Spot a Four →How to Spot a Nine →How They Work Together in a Relationship →