How I Met Your Mother is a story about looking for love, but above all about five friends from one bar in New York. Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin and Barney don't suit each other at all, and yet they stick together for nine seasons. The Enneagram explains why: each of them handles life with a completely different strategy.
Typing characters is always a bit of a guess, because the characters were written by screenwriters, not by the Enneagram. Enneagram fans argue over some of them.
1 · PerfectionistTed
Ted knows how the world should look: architecture beautiful, grammar correct and love like in the movies. He has a clear life plan and takes it hard when reality strays from it. He likes to lecture and correct others, which his friends never stop reminding him of. That's the Perfectionist: idealism, high standards and an inner critic. His romantic gestures aren't about being different, but about his idea of what the right life should look like. Perfectionist profile
2 · AltruistLily
Lily looks after everyone around her, matchmakes, gives advice and meddles in their lives, even when nobody invited her. She means well: she wants them to be happy and likes being needed. A strong-willed Altruist who can also be unexpectedly tough when it comes to her people. Altruist profile
3 · StrategistBarney
“Suit up!” Barney has the perfect look, a career nobody knows the exact nature of, and above all the image of a legendary man. Everything is a performance: the stories, the tricks, the challenges he has to win. That's the Strategist: success, admiration and the fear that without them he's worth nothing. Under the suit is a boy whose dad left him and who's trying to prove he's worth something. When he admits it, his best side shows: he can be loyal and surprisingly kind. Strategist profile
8 · LeaderRobin
Guns, cigars, hockey and no weak moments. Robin is strong, independent and won't let anyone boss her around. She goes after what she wants and hides her vulnerability behind a tough shell, because as a child being weak didn't pay off. That's the Leader: strength, directness and control over her own life. But once she lets someone in, it's for good. Leader profile
9 · MediatorMarshall
Marshall is an easygoing guy with a big heart. He's kind, patient and gets along with everyone. He avoids conflict, and in the gang he's the one who calms things down and brings people together. A typical Mediator: calm, acceptance and harmony. The Mediator's weakness shows in moments when he backs away from his dreams for the sake of peace, like his work in environmental protection. And when he finally blows up, it's worth it. Mediator profile
Who's missing from the gang
Among the main five you won't find an Individualist, an Expert, a Traditionalist or an Optimist. The gang is built on people who meet life head-on: Barney and Robin through strength and performance, Ted and Lily through their conviction about how things should be, and Marshall through a calm that brings it all together. Nobody here withdraws into themselves or lives in fear of what's coming.
Why they last
Ted seeks perfection, Barney admiration, Robin independence, Lily closeness and Marshall peace. On paper they have nothing in common. In practice, they complement each other: Marshall and Lily hold the gang together, Barney brings legendary nights, and Robin and Ted show how hard it is to bring together two people who want different things from life. That's what the whole show is about.
Which friend from the bar would you be? Find out your strategy in 10 minutes. Discover your strategy
