Relationships between strategies

78 in a relationship

An energetic, pleasure-loving pair of neighbouring strategies. Both want to live life to the full and won't be held back. They'll enjoy a lot together; they just need to keep the trust intact.

Strategy 7

Enthusiastic Optimist

Desire
Contentment and freedom of choice
Fear
Deprivation and pain there's no escaping

Strategy 8

Powerful Leader

Desire
Control over their own life
Fear
Losing control and getting hurt

How they're connected

They're neighbouring strategies, so each can be the other's wing. They have a lot in common and often understand each other without explanation.

What draws them together

There's plenty of juice in this relationship. The Seven and the Eight are neighbouring strategies, and their combination creates a "hunger for fun": adventure, good sex, experiences. Both like to enjoy themselves and don't feel much guilt. They answer to themselves, not to others, and both hate the word "must."

Independence is a necessity. The Eight likes making and breaking rules; the Seven sees dogma as death. Usually an unspoken agreement forms that each gets time and space for their own interests.

Where they click

  • Lots of energy, experiences, and fun.
  • Both are bold, action-oriented, and confident.
  • The Eight brings strength, the Seven brings ideas.

The rest is in the Couples Guide. How to get it

Where the friction is

  • The Eight tries to rein in the Seven; the Seven makes excuses.
  • To the Eight, the Seven's reasons sound like lies.
  • Both would rather withdraw than admit something hurt them.

The rest is in the Couples Guide. How to get it

Working together

Both are independent, and for them the gap between idea and action is short. Both trust their own perceptions and are more aware of what they want than of how they come across to others. The Seven veers off toward possibilities; the Eight works flat out or not at all. Under pressure, the differences grow.

The rest is in the Couples Guide. How to get it

The two of you, specifically

This is only a general description of the Seven and Eight pairing. The Couples Guide goes deeper: you both take the Quick Test, and the guide works with your subtypes. The self-preservation, social, and one-to-one versions of the same strategy behave completely differently in a relationship.

  • The full text on where you get stuck and how to get out
  • Advice for each of you separately
  • The two of you, specifically: your combination of subtypes
  • How to understand your partner
  • Tips for growing together

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All combinations

What are the two of you really like?

Here you're reading how Optimist and Leader generally work together. The Couples Guide shows your relationship: what draws you to each other, where you get stuck, and what to do about it.

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