14 in a relationship

They're connected by an arrow: strategy 1 moves toward strategy 4 under stress. That's why someone with strategy 1 easily recognizes their own worse days in strategy 4.

They're connected by an arrow: strategy 4 moves toward strategy 1 in growth. Strategy 1 therefore often embodies what someone with strategy 4 needs to develop.

The One and the Four are connected by an arrow, so each recognizes a piece of their own nature in the other. Both long for an ideal: they see how things could be better and won't settle for average.

The Four openly shows the feelings the One forbids themselves: sadness, envy, longing, disappointment. For the One, this can be both frightening and liberating. People with the One strategy often say that thanks to a Four they discovered their own creativity and direction in life. The Four, in turn, is drawn to the One's stability and practicality. A partner who can handle work and family regardless of how they happen to feel is a real anchor for the Four.

• Shared ideals and high standards for quality.
• The Four helps the One to feel and to loosen their strict "I have to" rules.
• The One helps the Four bring structure and follow through.

• The One sees the Four's moods as self-absorption: "Pull yourself together, there's work to do."
• The Four sees the One as cold and insensitive.
• The One's criticism feeds the Four's sense of not being enough.

At work, they're united by high standards: the One wants perfection, the Four wants uniqueness. Both value exceptional work, and both criticize mediocrity. The One's order gives the Four a safe framework. But if the One is distant and leads only through rules, the Four will reject the rules.