A friend, a partner, a boss. Every day you deal with people whose strategy you don't know, and you can't hand them a test. The good news: you can make a pretty good guess at other people's strategy. You won't recognise it by what a person does, but by why they do it.
Two people can work late into the night. One because they want it done right, another because they want to succeed, a third because they're afraid of what would happen if they didn't make the deadline. The behaviour is the same, the motivation completely different. And it's the motivation that gives the strategy away.
What to look for
- What makes them angry. Anger shows what a person cares about most. Who is set off by injustice, who by failure, who by losing control?
- What they avoid. Conflict, boredom, failure, depending on others, uncertainty?
- What they talk about when they're relaxed. About what's right, about people, about success, about feelings, about ideas, about risks, about experiences, about strength, or about peace and quiet?
- How they react under pressure. Under stress, the strategy shows itself most clearly.
The nine strategies in a nutshell
- Perfectionist (1): fixes, improves, makes sure things are done properly. Gets angry at sloppy work and injustice.
- Altruist (2): notices what others need and offers help before you ask for it. It hurts them when their care goes unnoticed.
- Strategist (3): goals, results, a good impression. Adapts quickly to the situation and hates failure, especially in front of others.
- Individualist (4): seeks depth and authenticity, feels things fully. The worst thing for them is being one of the crowd.
- Expert (5): observes first, speaks later. Protects their time and privacy, needs to understand how things work.
- Traditionalist (6): thinks ahead about risks, is loyal and asks “what if.” Needs security and people they can rely on.
- Optimist (7): full of ideas and plans, always on the move. Handles boredom and restrictions worse than anything else.
- Leader (8): direct, decisive, takes matters into their own hands. Hates weakness and manipulation, and protects their people.
- Mediator (9): calm, conciliatory, gets along with everyone. Avoids conflict and often keeps their opinion to themselves.
The three most common mistakes
Judging by profession. An accountant doesn't have to be a Perfectionist, nor an actor an Individualist. Different motivations lead to the same job.
Mistaking a mood for a strategy. Someone who's tired and withdrawn right now isn't necessarily an Expert. Watch how a person behaves over the long term.
Mixing up similar strategies. The most frequently confused are the Altruist and the Mediator (both accommodating), the Strategist and the Leader (both prominent) or the Traditionalist and the Expert (both cautious). The pages on common look-alikes will help.
A guess is a beginning, not an end
Guessing someone's strategy helps you understand why they behave the way they do. But it's still just a guess from the outside. A person knows more about their own motivations than what shows.
If you want to know how things really are between the two of you, get the Couples Guide. You each take a short test separately, and the guide shows what draws you together, where you get stuck and what to do about it. And when it comes to a team, the Team Map will help.
